landorus:

cashier: that’ll be $4.20

me: bruh

cashier: bruh

sarcarstic:

We’re having pizza for dinner, is that ok?

image

foxnewsofficial:

there was a lizard in the shower so i said hello to it and the person showering next to me was like “hi??” i wasn’t sure whether to carry on the conversation or be like sorry i was talking to a lizard 

(Source: foxnewsofficial)

  • Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
  • Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.